Empathy: The Key to Interpersonal Growth
What’s Your Superpower?
I grew up watching The Six Million Dollar Man. It was a show about an astronaut who was in a test flight accident that left him with severe injuries. A government agency took advantage of the opportunity to use their top secret technology to create a superhuman that would work for them as an agent. They rebuilt parts of his body with new Herculean powers. His legs, his right arm and left eye were replaced with “bionic” parts allowing him to run at speeds over 60 mph, see with 20:1 zoom vision, and his arm had the strength of a bulldozer.
Eventually there was a spinoff of this show called “The Bionic Woman.” Same concept and similar abilities, except she had supersonic hearing instead of enhanced vision.
My brother and I loved these shows when we were little and when we weren’t playing “Star Wars” we pretended we were “Steve Austin” and “Jamie Sommers” - bionic man and woman. Running around our neighborhood in slow motion (that’s how the TV show portrayed their speed!) and imagining we were bionic spies hired to catch the bad guys.
I think every kid dreams of having supernatural abilities. Then we grow up and the reality of our limits sinks in. We can certainly enhance our God-given strengths, but we will never be able to run as fast as a car or hear a conversation through the walls of the house across the street like the TV show.
But there’s one thing I’ve discovered in my years of working with and leading people. Whether it was my kids, employees or volunteers, there’s one skill that can unlock our leadership potential and give us “superpowers.” That skill is EMPATHY.
There’s a big difference between sympathy and empathy.
Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone else's misfortune. It’s expressed through giving pity or showing sorrow. There’s a place for sympathy in our lives, but it really won’t make you a better leader.
Empathy on the other hand is the ability to recognize, understand and appreciate what the other person is feeling and even sharing that feeling with them. It is not being nice. It’s not agreeing with someone or even approving of their choices or ideas. When you learn to express true empathy, it creates a deeper connection and can actually build trust in a relationship.
Empathy is the key that unlocks interpersonal growth.
If you want to grow in your empathy there are a couple of steps you can take to begin growing.
GROWTH STEPS:
PRACTICE using “you” instead of “I”
For example, instead of saying something like: “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” Try: “You must be so disappointed that this has happened.”
ASK deeper questions - “excavating” questions - not yes or no answers
If you’re interested in learning more about how you can grow in the area of empathy, completing an Emotional Intelligence Assessment, EQi 2.0, and developing an action plan with a certified coach might be for you.
The only thing you have to lose is gaining a new “superpower!”